Xueye wasted no time making his way to the central fountain square. It was as busy as always, being where many roads met and a popular place for tourists and locals alike because of the large ornate fountain at its center. Xueye still had no problem spotting Yushi amidst the crowd, he was quite tall and towered over most people.
Yushi spotted the blur of white heading straight towards him and a fond smile broke out across his face, “There you are.”
“I’m so happy you wanted to meet so soon!” Xueye beamed up at Yushi. “I was hoping you would.”
“What can I say, I enjoy your company,” Yushi felt so much more at ease now that Xueye had arrived. He was a bit worried Xueye might be too busy to join him this evening. “Besides, this is quite important after all.” He held out his arm, offering to escort the young man, not wanting to lose him in the crowded streets, “Shall we?”
“Where to?” Xueye cheerfully latched onto Yushi’s arm.
“You’ll see,” Yushi chuckled as he led him just down the road to a rather popular theater that was swarming with people ready for the evening’s performance.
Xueye was rather familiar with the theater. It was the one his mother often took him to as a child but it was where he briefly performed upon returning for Vual. His dazed sense of nostalgia was written all over his face.
“If you’d rather go elsewhere, we can,” It didn’t escape Yushi’s notice, especially when he felt those dainty hands tighten on his arm. He was a little worried seeing the hint of sadness in those lavender eyes.
“No…” Xueye voiced tenderly. He slowly lit up once more, “It’s been quite some time and I would love to go.”
“As long as you are comfortable,” Yushi reassured with a sweet, comforting tone as they made their way inside.
Yushi paid for a private balcony so they could speak as much as they liked without disturbing anyone. It was also virtually impossible for someone to eavesdrop with how isolated and soundproof the room to the balcony was. It wasn’t the first time Yushi had used the theater for a private exchange, as one of the people he often informed was very passionate about theater.
“It’s been so long since I was last in one of these rooms,” Xueye ran his hand across the familiar dark red, velvety curtains that led to the balcony. “My mother used to take me here all the time. It’s why I fell in love with performance. Perhaps in another life, I’d be on stage again instead of up here.”
“Is that what you wanted before you became heir?” Yushi sat down in one of the seats on the balcony.
“I suppose it was,” Xueye closed his eyes. “It was the one place my appearance was praised and not feared.” Xueye sighed and sat in the spot directly next to Yushi.
Yushi understood what Xueye meant. When one had white hair in their youth, that person was typically feared or revered. Yushi had seen first hand what that was like when he saved Shizhe from the persecution of fearful villagers, but Shizhe openly used her abilities which certainly didn’t help her case back then. Now in the court she was revered. Many looked at her with awe and hung on her every word. Yushi could only imagine how it was for Xueye with a scornful father that was insistent that the young man was cursed. Yushi felt irritated just thinking about it.
“Someone like you deserves to have admiration the world over,” Yushi’s voice was so tender it made Xueye’s heart skip a beat.
“Again with the flattery,” Xueye couldn’t look in Yushi’s direction.
“It’s my honest opinion,” Yushi smirked seeing how Xueye’s cheeks had a dusting of pink. “If it were up to me, people would consider you a blessing from the heavens. Anyone who thinks otherwise would be cursed themselves.”
“I feel like that would cause more problems,” Xueye giggled, looking even further away to hide the growing heat in his face.
“Perhaps,” Yushi was rather amused by how shy Xueye was getting. “It wouldn’t be anything they didn’t deserve.”
“S-Shujing!” Xueye was a little surprised to hear such a subtle threatening tone from him.
“Forgive me, I can get a little carried away sometimes,” Yushi chuckled. “I just think no one should have to endure scorn if it’s undeserved.”
“You’re sweet,” Xueye mumbled under his breath. “If only everyone thought like that…”
“It may be hard to change someone’s mind, but don’t let them sway yours, you are perfect as you are,” Yushi broke out in a warm enamored smile.
“Shujing…” Xueye whined, squirming under that striking amber gaze. He wasn’t sure why Yushi’s words were making him so flustered. He hadn’t particularly had anyone speak to him that way and mean every word of it. It felt unreal, like it was all a dream. If it was, he didn’t want to wake up.
The lights in the theater dimmed and Xueye was grateful for the distraction. He was quickly drawn in by the performance. It was an ancient tale of a water spirit tasked by one of the gods to stop a war. The water spirit was a tortured soul that eventually relearns to love and be loved over the course of the journey with their companions.
It had been some time since Xueye saw this tale on stage, the last time was likely with his mother in his youth. He hadn’t realized how closely he related to that water spirit now that he was older. What really hit him was the spirit regaining a passion to sing again.
Xueye found himself missing being up on stage even more. Perhaps that’s why he hadn’t been to see one in quite some time, even avoiding it during festivals. Performing was the one place he felt most at ease and felt closest to his mother. He found, in that moment, he craved it so badly it hurt.
Xueye leaned his head on Yushi’s shoulder, which surprised the older man. However, when Yushi glanced down he saw that same sadness in those lavender eyes that he witnessed outside. Yushi couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.
“Be honest, does being here bother you?” Yushi whispered.
“No, it’s just made me realize just how much I miss being up there,” Xueye sighed with longing. “I didn’t think I missed it that much.”
“Do you want to perform again?” Yushi didn’t want to push the notion too hard if Xueye wasn’t willing.
“I…” Xueye hesitated a moment. It would be a lot of hassle between his father and already busy life. “Is it worth it?”
“Don’t think of it like that,” Yushi leaned down, a bit closer to Xueye’s face so the young man could see his serious expression. “Do you want to perform again, Xueye?”
Xueye blinked, heart racing at the sheer proximity and being the sole focus of those burning amber eyes. Xueye could feel his warm breath on his cheek and suddenly his mind was blank. Because of that, it suddenly clicked and he was unable to overthink the matter anymore. That small, quiet voice of desire was crying out.
“I do want to,” Xueye nodded. He looked away, unable to keep eye contact with Yushi any longer, feeling his heart might explode.
“Then you should, who cares what your father thinks,” Yushi couldn’t help but smile at Xueye’s response combined with his abashed behavior.
“You’re right, but as things are, I don’t have the time,” Xueye let out a forlorn sigh and closed his eyes. “Maybe once things clear up a bit.”
“I look forward to the day I can see you perform,” Yushi voiced affectionately.
“You brought me here on purpose didn’t you,” Xueye huffed, realizing how much Yushi pushed the matter.
“Perhaps,” Yushi smirked teasingly. “You aren’t the only reason. A friend of mine brought up the theater this morning. I thought it would be fun, since I haven’t been in a while, and I figured you’d at least enjoy it. Inspiring you is just a bonus.”
“Well, thank you…” Xueye mumbled, looking down with a tender, joyful expression. “I probably wouldn’t have realized if it weren’t for you.”
“I’ll gladly help you find your desires,” Yushi leaned in and whispered in Xueye’s ear. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how quickly Xueye turned red.
“Shujing!” Xueye whined. He’d never particularly experienced teasing that wasn’t malicious in nature, he was a little taken aback. “Must you tease me so?”
“Forgive me, I enjoy seeing your reactions,” Yushi looked truly delighted. “I meant it though. I want to help you learn to want again, remember?”
“Mn,” Xueye nodded. He slowly looked up at Yushi meeting those warm eyes, “But one thing I don’t get is, what do you get out of it?”
“Seeing you truly smile is more than enough for me,” Yushi stated with a look of endearment. “Just to see that, I’ll consider it fair trade.”
“I don’t see how it’s fair, but if it makes you happy,” Xueye shrugged. He would figure something else out on his own to make it fair eventually.
“I told you I enjoy making others happy, especially my companions,” Yushi grinned. “So rely on me, I want to ensure you are able to get this little project done quickly and free up some of your time.”
“Then what do you want to know in exchange?” Xueye eyed him curiously.
“Knowing one of your desires is plenty of information for now,” Yushi smirked. He pulled out a rolled piece of paper from his sleeve and handed it to Xueye. “This is a list of pretty reputable farms that specialize in medicinal herbs. I have a bit of time over the next few days if you’d like for me to help you reach out.”
“Thank you,” Xueye smiled. “If you really don’t mind.” He let out a breath and his expression dimmed, “I’m worried about raising my father’s suspicion any further. He did see me writing the letter to you. I’m not sure if he was able to read anything or not. My biggest worry is acquiring a separate warehouse, he’ll definitely figure it out then, even using the Brightness Festival goods as cover.”
“Leave that to me,” Yushi jumped at the first chance to assist him.
“I can’t ask that of you, that’s too much,” Xueye fretted.
“It’s no matter, I can acquire it for now and once everything is settled you can purchase it from me later,” Yushi stated casually.
“Shujing,” Xueye whined. “A friend of my mother’s offered his storehouse and I declined, what makes you think I’ll just let you buy a warehouse for me?”
“I intend to do this for you whether you like it or not, Xueye,” Yushi voiced softly with a smirk.
“You’re insufferable,” Xueye groaned at how relentless Yushi was being. “I’ll let you handle it on one condition.”
“Name it!” Yushi beamed.
“You are just the intermediary on this,” Xueye glared firmly, not willing to budge. “I’m still paying for it, even if it’s out of my own pocket. I’d rather not be indebted to you, I have enough to deal with the debts my father put the company in, I’m not going to add another.”
“You misunderstand, that’s not what I intended at all, but if you insist.” Yushi shrugged. “So long as I am able to assist you in keeping your father out of the loop, it makes no difference to me.”
“Just what is it you intended then?” Xueye’s brows knitted in confusion.
“I intended it more as a favor than a transaction but I figured you wouldn’t stand for that, thus I worded it so,” Yushi sighed in defeat. “But, you still didn’t bite.”
“You’re right, I definitely would have turned you down,” Xueye crossed his arms in a huff.
“So there was a part of you that considered the offer then?” Yushi looked amused by the idea. “You turned it down so quickly I thought I actually misread you.”
“It’s very kind of you, but I can’t impose upon you like that. it doesn't matter if we’ve known each other for days or years,” Xueye stated.
“Just what would it take for you to rely that heavily on me?” There was a hint of a teasing tone in Yushi’s voice.
“I’d have to be pretty desperate,” Xueye glanced up at him to see an amused smirk on his face.
“Then I hope the next time you feel desperate you come to me,” Yushi flashed an endearing smile that made Xueye’s heart melt.
“Why is it you want me to rely on you so badly?” Xueye had only ever experienced this sort of earnest persistence with Dr. Jingji, but there was something different about it coming from Yushi that he couldn’t put his finger on.
“Not sure I could explain why,” Yushi wasn’t quite sure the reason. He just really wanted to protect and spoil the young man. “I just feel the need to support you.”
Xueye was speechless. He stared at Yushi utterly dumbfounded.
“What’s with that look?” Yushi tried to stifle a laugh. “Don’t believe me? I mean it.”
“I know you do and that’s what baffles me,” Xueye blinked trying to come back to his senses. He felt he’d gotten rather good over the years at picking up on hidden malicious intent. So hearing those words from someone without it was so foreign to him. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say those words and mean it.”
“You really need to surround yourself with people you trust, Xueye,” Yushi sighed, disappointed in the unfortunate circumstances he was in.
“You’ve made that abundantly clear,” Xueye huffed in exasperation. “I feel like I’m starting to take a step in the right direction,” he smiled softly at Yushi.
It slowly dawned on Yushi just what he meant by those words and that heartfelt smile. He couldn’t help but smile himself, happy that he was slowly winning over Xueye’s trust. Yushi expected it would take much longer but it seemed the prolonged social isolation must have been too unbearable and all but impossible to keep the walls up against someone showing every kindness he’d been deprived of.
“You really do look much better with a smile,” Yushi gently rested his hand on the top of Xueye’s head. Xueye’s hair felt so soft under his fingertips.
“Well not many people can bring a real one out of me,” Xueye felt a warm feeling spread through his body at the soft touch of Yushi’s hand.
“It pleases me that I can be one of them,” Yushi was truly delighted.
Following the conclusion of the performance and their chat, the two descended the stairs. They didn’t get far into the lobby before a voice familiar to Xueye called out to him.
“Is that our lovely Xueye?!” A cheerful middle aged woman quickly parted from those she was talking with and quickly wove her way through the departing audience.
“Madam Director, wonderful to see you again,” Xueye waved as she approached.
“Tell me darling, what did you think of this evening’s performance?”
“Wonderful as always,” Xueye flashed a smile.
“Don’t tell the others but it would have been much better with you as the lead,” she whispered with a mischievous enthusiasm.
“Your secret is safe with me,” Xueye giggled. “I still think your chosen performers were marvelous.”
“Yes, yes, but darling your talent is something else entirely, I’ve often wondered if you would come back one day and take the stage once more!”
“Oh, I was just speaking with my dear friend, here, about that,” Xueye gestured to Yushi, who was quietly enjoying watching the cheerful interaction. “I’m a bit busy for the time being but he convinced me, once time frees up I wouldn’t mind performing again.”
“Really! Please let me know right away, darling!” She clapped her hands together in delight. She glanced up at Xueye’s tall, handsome companion, eyeing him up and down curiously. “Who’s this esteemed one to motivate you to go against your father?”
“Forgive me, I should have introduced you two,” Xueye smiled apologetically before gesturing to Yushi again, “This is my dear friend, Shujing.” He glanced up at Yushi and gestured to the woman, “This is Director Bailing, I’m sure you can guess but, when I first came home from Vual I often performed in her productions.”
“A pleasure,” Yushi smiled, giving a small, polite bow.
“Where have you been hiding this one?” Bailing not so quietly whispered to Xueye.
“Keep your paws off him Madam Director,” Xueye laughed, knowing she was always looking for pretty faces with talent.
“No promises, dear,” Bailing teased. “Keep bringing him around here and I might snatch him up.” She placed her hand on Xueye’s shoulder, “I won’t keep you two much longer tonight. Please, do come back soon, it’s wonderful to see you again.”
“I promise, I will,” Xueye beamed.
“Take care, darlings!” Bailing gave a half hearted wave as she departed, disappearing back inside the theater.
“She’s an interesting one,” Yushi chuckled as they continued to leave the venue.
“She means well,” Xueye giggled. “If you don’t watch out, she might try and recruit you for a performance.”
“I’ll be cautious then,” Yushi couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of the emperor performing in a local theater. “Although, to perform alongside someone as talented as yourself would be quite an honor.”
“How would you know? You haven’t seen me perform yet,” Xueye tried to ignore the pounding in his chest and the rising heat of his cheeks.
“I don’t need to,” Yushi smirked. “Director Bailing’s interest in your return speaks volumes. I’ve also heard a rather glowing review from that friend I spoke of.”
“Now I’m worried your expectations of me may be a bit high,” Xueye laughed nervously.
“I assure you, I won’t be disappointed even if it’s not your best,” Yushi smiled softly. “I just want to see you enjoying your time.”
“You always know what to say don’t you?” Xueye glanced away feeling a bit flustered again.
“Evidently not or you would have taken my deal without revision,” Yushi was amused by his flushed expression.
“You didn’t say anything wrong, just missed a vital piece of information on me,” Xueye crossed his arms.
“Then I’ll be sure to remedy that and make you an offer you won’t be able to refuse,” Yushi leaned in and spoke in a low, mischievous voice that sent chills down Xueye’s spine.
“You make me want to refuse everything you offer me,” Xueye leered at him.
“I’d like to see you try,” Yushi chuckled darkly. He amusedly watched Xueye go completely speechless before quickly devolving into a pout. Yushi savored the adorable expression a bit longer before breaking the silence. “I’m certain you must be hungry, I’ll treat you to dinner as well.”
“I’m not sure I want to,” Xueye said in a teasing bitter tone.
“That wasn’t a request,” Yushi smirked at the young man’s defiant nature.
“Fine, but I’m going to need a drink if you are going to keep teasing me like this!” Xueye grumbled.
“That can be arranged,” Yushi chuckled, feeling rather delighted as he guided Xueye to a restaurant not far from the theater.
They settled into a quiet booth in the corner of the restaurant, ordered a few dishes and some choice wine.
“You’ve been awfully quiet, Xueye,” Yushi smiled softly. “Did my teasing bother you that much?”
“No,” Xueye shook his head. “I can tell it’s all in fun, from you I take no offense.”
“Good, because I enjoy seeing the expressions you make,” Yushi chuckled before taking a drink of the rice wine, watching Xueye’s cheeks puff up again as his lower lip curled into a pout. “Just like that.”
“Well aren’t you full of mischief today,” Xueye huffed, trying to recompose himself as he took a sip of wine as well. Normally he was quite good at controlling his expressions, for some reason he struggled to do so around Yushi.
“I can be at times, you certainly bring it out of me, I have to admit,” Yushi flashed a coy grin as he rested his head in his hand.
“Lucky me,” Xueye rolled his eyes with a playful smirk. Yushi could see the cheerful light in his eyes fading fast.
“What’s really on your mind?” Yushi smiled sweetly.
Xueye didn’t reply right away, “Just been thinking about what you said the other day.” He traced the rim of his cup with his slender finger, “I’ve been thinking a lot about all your talk of desires. What I want. I can’t say I have much more of an answer than you already know, but thinking of all this has me thinking of my mother lately. My mother seems to keep coming up as of late. I find myself missing her, she used to urge me to do the same things. I get the feeling she would have liked you,” Xueye let out a weak smile.
“I apologize, it wasn’t my intention to cause you such discomfort,” Yushi felt a little guilty for pushing the matter so hard.
“You misunderstand,” Xueye was touched at how worried Yushi looked. “I guess I’m a little sad because I miss her, but it occurred to me, when I was younger I always wanted to live up to her ideals for me. So it’s been at the back of my mind when that topic has been on my mind, I feel like it helps a little.”
“So just what are these ideals, if you don’t mind me asking?” Yuhsi let out a quiet sigh of relief upon hearing it wasn’t a bad line of thought for Xueye.
“Well one thing she always used to tell me to live life where my heart feels full,” Xueye sighed wistfully. “I’ve left it empty for so long.”
“Full heart, huh?” Yushi mumbled. The words struck a chord with him. He’d never particularly been displeased with his life as it was now, but thinking of it in terms of fulfillment was different. That lingering sense of boredom he often felt amidst his life in the court. Only on occasion did his adventures out of the palace mitigate that feeling, mainly lessening the impact as a distraction. He was starting to wonder if something was missing.
“Sorry to put a damper on things,” Xueye flashed a sympathetic smile as he watched Yuhsi’s gears turn at the concept. “I think today I’m just starting to realize it helps to think of it like that.”
“It’s quite alright,” Yushi shook his head and smiled softly. “It’s a lovely sentiment. It makes me think…”
“Is your heart not quite full either?” Xueye looked at him with a little concern. He had the impression Yushi seemed very pleased with his lot in life. Yushi always looked so content and happy in his company, but perhaps things were different when he wasn’t around.
“It didn’t really occur to me until you mentioned it just now,” despite the revelation, Yushi seemed oddly amused by the notion. “For quite some time I’ve felt as though something has been missing. I didn’t quite realize what it could have been until you mentioned this. While I’m quite content with my lot in life, perhaps I’m missing that sense of complete fulfillment.”
“Since you are helping me find mine, it’s only fair I help you find yours, yes?” Xueye beamed. That sweet smile was such a heartwarming sight, Yushi couldn’t help but feel at ease in the face of such a daunting revelation.
“Just being in your company is more than enough,” Yushi closed his eyes with a content smile.
“I guess you’ll just have to sacrifice some of your time to spend more with me then,” Xueye flashed a cheeky grin.
“A sacrifice I’m more than willing to make,” Yushi flashed a coy smile before taking a drink of wine, enjoying Xueye’s cheerful expression in combination with the flush of his pale skin. It was more intoxicating than the alcohol.
“Seems I’ll have to make the most of having you as my temporary assistant then,” Xueye rested his head in his hand, unable to stop smiling at the thought.
“I’m at your service,” Yushi’s soft teasing tone was giving Xueye chills.
After their delicious meal and joyful time drinking together, Yushi insisted on escorting Xueye home. He enjoyed the clingy nature of Xueye’s drunken state, especially when he was struggling to remain on his feet. Yushi found him truly adorable hanging onto his arm as they walked. Yushi couldn’t help but savor the warmth from the contact in the cool evening breeze.
“Xueye, do you cling onto others like this?” Yushi couldn’t help but wonder if it was a common occurrence or something he only did with Yushi.
“I usually drink this much alone, so can’t say I have,” Xueye mumbled a little dreary. “I hope you don’t mind, you’re so warm, like sunlight… I can’t help it.”
“I don’t mind if it’s you,” Yushi smiled fondly.
“So I’m really the only one who gets to hang on you?” Xueye had such a delighted look in his eyes.
“One and only,” Yushi chuckled.
As they began to approach Xueye’s home, Yushi picked up the sense that they were being watched. He didn’t react to it, not wanting to alert Xueye or the hostile eyes that were on them.
As they kept moving, out of the corner of Yushi’s eye he noticed a few individuals keeping pace with them. He sighed internally at how amateur these pursuers were, he was hoping they were after him instead of Xueye and would wait until after he was dropped off, so the young man didn’t have to see the violence. However, he got the sense that wasn’t going to be the case.
“There you are, Young Master Meigui,” a man stepped out in front of them. The other unsavory characters began surrounding the two. The street was rather empty aside from them. Xueye seemed to tense for a moment before hesitantly let go of Yushi’s arm. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
“I’m afraid I don’t take meetings this late, if you have business with me it’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” Xueye said with a well practiced false bravado, trying to ignore his pounding heart and the fear welling up inside him, less for himself and more for his companion’s safety.
“Leave! I won’t let you take him,” Yushi voiced harshly, almost akin to a beastly growl. His intimidating glare scanned the group around them. A few of them were caught off guard and took a step back subconsciously.
“We weren’t told he had a guard!” A nervous whisper off to the side drew Yushi’s attention.
“It’s fine… He’s out matched with all of us here,” the other whispered back.
Yushi narrowed his eyes. He wasn’t fond of the implication that they were sent by someone. He wasn’t about to let them get away should they act.
“Young Master, it’s in your best interest that you come with us,” the leader that spoke up first implored with a rather smug attitude.
“And if I refuse?” Xueye’s nerves were on fire. This tense situation was sobering him up rather quickly.
“Well, we were told to bring you back alive, but they didn’t say in what state,” the leader snickered as he motioned for the others to make their move.
Yushi growled under his breath, clenching his fists as they approached them both. Xueye stumbled backwards when he saw one of the attackers coming at him with a dagger, he couldn’t help but squeeze his eyes shut and await the pain that was about to follow.
__________
For bonus art and early access to chapters in case this cliffhanger is too much, go check out my Patreon!