Fair Trade Ch 32 - Unsettled Within

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Yushi hated that he had to leave so quickly in the morning to deal with matters regarding the Eilian spies. Riluo had left a sealed missive for him to find. He couldn’t bring himself to wake Xueye that morning so he simply left a note. Even so it hadn’t really sat well with him. It had been on his mind all day.

 Riluo only intended to keep Yushi updated, he never intended to get Yushi involved that day. Riluo almost felt sorry for the captive when Yushi dismissed Yuliang to interrogate personally. There wasn’t much left of a person when Yushi was done. Riluo only hoped that it helped Yushi blow off some steam. After that Riluo finally convinced Yushi that the upper court would take care of anything else for the rest of the day and shooed the emperor away.

When Yushi returned to the Crystal Estate and found it empty, it was a little disappointing. He expected Xueye to be out on business for a while but there was still a part of him that hoped that Xueye was there waiting for him. There was some semblance of comfort in seeing that not a thing of Xueye’s was moved or packed. Everything in Xueye’s room was just where it was when Yushi had left, save for the lack of the young man sleeping peacefully in the bed and the note Yushi had left.

Yushi didn’t want to idly wait around but was also hesitant to disrupt Xueye’s work, not wanting to distract him. He wasn’t certain if he would even find Xueye at his office or if the young man would be running around dealing with the new investment or negotiating with Jinse at the Fox’s Den. Rather than search for him, it was the perfect time to go out and get Xueye another gift. 

Ever since Shizhe had told him to focus on the idea in order to calm down, the thought of getting the young man something else to wear had been on Yushi’s mind. Seeing the young man always wearing the hairpin he’d gifted was always such a delight. Whenever Yushi had seen Xueye dressed down around the estate for the evening, the fact the young man always wore the dark blue robe Yushi had lent him the first night staying at the estate was always the most pleasing sight. Yushi really just wanted to don the young man in the most lavish of gifts so he could one day see him completely covered in everything that Yushi had gotten him.

Setting aside the idea of gifting the young man a whole wardrobe one day, something small would have to do in the meantime. As much as he wanted to deeply spoil Xueye, he knew it would be best to build up to something more grand given Xueye wasn’t used to receiving gifts without expectations or feeling the need to repay. Yushi needed to keep it small in case Xueye did feel the need to reciprocate.

It was a simple errand to pick up the little parting gift. On his way back to the estate he picked up the sound of that bright and gentle laugh he so adored. Glancing towards the source he spotted the soft snow white hair. Yushi didn’t recognize the one Xueye was with but he could hazard a guess given how Xueye was clinging onto his arm the way he often did with Yushi. There was only one person that he knew that fit that bill and Xueye was supposed to be meeting with him after all. Even so there was an irritation beneath his skin at the sight.

Jinse felt the weight of that burning amber gaze. He looked directly at Yushi and the knowing smirk that formed on Jinse’s face startled Yushi. Given the distance, the fact that Jinse caught his stare told Yushi that this man wasn’t normal. His draconic instincts were rising to the surface, screaming that something was amiss. 

“Xueye!” Yushi called out with a practiced smile, getting the attention of the young man.

“Oh, Shujing!” Xueye let go of Jinse’s arm when he turned to face Yushi with a nervous grin. “I was just on my way over. Jinse insisted on escorting me back.”

“So this is the one you keep talking about,” Jinse lit up. “A pleasure to meet you, Shujing.” Jinse put emphasis on the name, almost as though he knew that wasn’t his real name. “I’m Jinse, proprietor of the Fox’s Den.”

“Hmm, yes I’ve heard much about you as well,” Yushi couldn’t shake the strange feeling he got from Jinse especially as the gap between them closed. Jinse was different but he couldn’t place why. 

“Only good things I hope,” Jinse flashed a teasing smirk towards Xueye.

“What? I only say good things about you,” Xueye giggled. “It’s not my fault you have such a shady reputation.”

“As long as you think otherwise, I couldn’t care less,” Jinse shrugged.

“He does speak highly of you,” Yushi stated, crossing his arms. “He insists you are better than the reputation that precedes you. It makes me wonder if you really are all he makes you out to be.” Yushi wanted to believe Xueye but he couldn’t ignore that his instincts told him something was out of place with Jinse. His skin was crawling, the dragon within wanting to lash out.

“I promise you, he’s not all that bad,” Xueye placed a hand on Yushi’s arm. The action with a sigh caused some of the tension to leave Yushi.

“I know you wouldn’t endorse him if you didn’t truly believe it,” Yushi smiled softly down at Xueye. Shizhe was right, Xueye really was helpful in taming the dragon within thanks to his calming energy. Just a touch and some comforting words were enough to take the edge off. At least until Jinse wrapped his arms around Xueye’s shoulders from behind. Yushi had to bite down the need to remove him forcefully.

“I have to thank you for taking such good care of my darling Xueye in his time of need,” Jinse rested his chin on one of Xueye’s shoulders, a mischievous smirk on his face. He was going to do everything he could to push Yushi’s buttons and it was very clear that Xueye was the easiest way to do so.

“It was my pleasure,” Yushi still put on a smile. Trying his best to not let Xueye realize how irritated he was by Jinse’s presence. “He’s always welcome in my home.”

“You know you can come to me as well, right, dearest?” Jinse squeezed him tighter and subtly nuzzled into Xueye’s hair.

“Y-Yes, o-of course I do!” Xueye stammered. He was trapped between the two that preoccupied his mind the most for the past week. His mind was spiralling quickly out of control. Between the events of last night and Jinse’s overly affectionate behavior as of late, Xueye was at a complete loss on how to handle either of them, let alone both of them at the same time. All he could do was try his best to not combust on the spot. 

“Xueye, we best get back before it gets too late,” Yushi desperately wanted to get Xueye away from Jinse, despite how bothered he was Xueye didn’t shy away from Jinse’s affectionate display. Even so he put on a smile, “Unless of course you’d like to stay another night.”

“Ah! Of course!” Xueye snapped out of his daze. “What I mean is, as much as I’d like to, I shouldn't impose upon you more than I have.” Xueye quickly clarified. He felt like a mess. He was starting to think some time alone at home would be good for him, at the very least, for his heart, given the way it was pounding nonstop around the two of them as of late. “Sorry for keeping you all day, Jinse. I really appreciate your help earlier.”

“Anytime, dear,” Jinse smiled sweetly at Xueye, he was reluctant to let go but he did. “I’d like to continue to help go over those contracts tomorrow. After today, I really don’t trust that he has the company’s best interests at heart.”

“You don’t have to! I can take care of it myself!” Xueye waved his hand back and forth. 

“But you have so much other work to catch up on, you said so yourself. I’m quite happy to ensure the security of my investment,” Jinse stated casually. 

“As long as you aren’t busy,” Xueye let out a defeated sigh. He did have a point. Jinse was much more knowledgeable about trade than he let on. Going through the contracts, Jinse was quick to point out every little problem and help revise it, in some cases better than the ways Xueye could think up. 

“Then, I will see you tomorrow,” Jinse grabbed Xueye’s hand and pressed a kiss against the back of it. Jinse was delighted upon hearing the faintest growl come from Yushi. Xueye didn’t hear it, no one around did, aside from Jinse. It left little room for doubt that Yushi was the dragon he was meant to be helping, not that Jinse wasn’t already aware. He really wondered just how far he could push Yushi until he showed his true colors.

“S-see y-you then…” Xueye barely managed. His face was burning up and his heart was pounding in his ears.

“You be good to my darling Xueye,” Jinse pat Yushi on the shoulder as he walked past. In that brief moment Yushi heard Jinse’s voice but didn’t see him speaking, “I won’t hesitate to kill another dragon if I have to.”

By the time Yushi wrapped his head around what just happened, Jinse had vanished among the crowd. Even if he wanted to, there was no way he could react with Xueye around. He understood why Jinse made him uneasy now, even if he didn’t have the full details. Jinse was strong spiritually, strong enough to use magic. Yushi never encountered a being so strong that it set him on edge. Maybe it was being more attuned to his draconic side that made him more sensitive to it.

The implication that Jinse knew of his dragon nature wasn’t lost on him. There was only one person publicly known to have dragon blood. Yushi suspected Jinse wouldn’t believe an excuse of remaining hidden among the people as he and his father once did. Considering the method in which Jinse communicated, Yushi had reason to believe that Jinse wouldn’t expose him outright, at least not with Xueye around. It was unsettling given Jinse’s reputation. Jinse may be kind with Xueye but it didn’t mean he’d extend that courtesy to Yushi and given the animosity they’d shared, none of it bode well with Yushi.

“Don’t let him get to you,” Xueye noticed Yushi’s dour expression the moment he snapped out of his own spiralling thoughts. Xueye wrapped his arms around one of Yushi’s. “He’s like that around most new people in my life. With the exception of Shizhe, they seemed to get along right away.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Yushi couldn’t help but chuckle as they started walking. “It’s quite hard to find anyone who mistreats her nowadays.”

“Now? It wasn’t always like that?” Xueye looked distraught by the mere thought of it. Shizhe was always so bright and warm. It was hard to imagine anyone disliking her. Even so, Xueye faced discrimination for his unique appearance before. He could hazard a guess that she faced the same in the past.

“Yes, unfortunately,” Yushi sighed. The memory of finding her bullied and persecuted in the town they first met when all she was trying to do was save them from disaster was still fresh despite it being so long ago. Saving her from unjust execution was what had her following him ever since, though he suspected that she knew his fate from the beginning and chose the winning side along with the change he would bring. “Before her status as a lady of the court she was a normal citizen after all. If you want to know more, ask her yourself. It’s not my place to divulge such secrets. I suspect she would be quite cross with me should she find out.”

“I understand,” Xueye giggled. “If I ask, I won't tell her you gave me the idea.”

“I appreciate that, but I think she’ll know,” Yushi sighed defeatedly with an amused smile. There really wasn’t anything he could hide from Shizhe. Yushi came to terms with that long ago.

As Yushi thought about it, the fact that she didn’t steer him away from Xueye, even encouraged pursuing him, spoke volumes of what she thinks of their future, even if the struggles with the full scope of it. In the past, Shizhe was always quick to warn if a lover of his was problematic. More often than not it was the case, thus he rarely did in recent years. No one he’d been with in the past had felt like the right person anyways, not the way Xueye did.

When they returned to the Crystal Estate, Xueye couldn’t help but let out a sigh. He really enjoyed his time within those walls. He really was reluctant to leave but he couldn’t impose upon Yushi any further. He also needed to take some time to himself, if anything to attempt to sort out his chaotic feelings as of late. Xueye was especially worried that if something like the events of last night occurred again, who knew how much farther they’d go. 

“Is something wrong?” Yushi could see Xueye’s complicated expression.

“Oh, nothing!” Xueye’s cheeks quickly turned pink. “I just think I’ll miss staying here with you. That’s all.”

“If I could have you over everyday I would,” Yushi also let out a long sigh. If it weren’t so dangerous in regards to Yushi’s true identity he’d even offer for Xueye to stay and live there. “Unfortunately, business often keeps me away from here, like before.”

“I understand,” Xueye tilted his head with a gentle smile. When he did Yushi caught a glimpse of the discoloration on Xueye’s neck, mostly hidden by Xueye’s high collar.

“Xueye, did something happen to you today?” Yushi pointed out the dark mark on Xueye’s neck. A dark twisted feeling filled him considering how affectionate Jinse was being.

“No! Nothing at all!” Xueye waved his hands back and forth, his face quickly heating up. He was really hoping Yushi wouldn’t notice. Wishful thinking he supposed. 

“Is that so?” Yushi stepped closer but Xueye took a step back and covered the mark. Yushi grew more concerned and his face tensed. “Xueye…”

“I promise I’m fine!” Xueye closed his eyes and flashed a reassuring smile. Yushi took that split moment that his eyes were closed to close the gap between them, grabbing Xueye’s wrist so he couldn’t step away again and to pull it away from Xueye’s neck. Yushi’s other hand pulled down the collar of Xueye’s robe just enough to get a better look and saw a bite mark. 

“Who did this to you?” Yushi felt his blood boil. 

“What?!” Xueye’s eyes widened. “You want to know who?”

“Yes, who did this to you?” Yushi growled dangerously. Whether an act of violence or passion, he wanted to make whoever did it pay.

Xueye was speechless. He didn’t know what to say. Clearly Yushi didn’t remember, given how upset he was. Xueye couldn’t keep eye contact with him, squirming under that fierce amber gaze. How should he tell him?

“Xueye, tell me, who did this to you!” Yushi pulled Xueye closer to him, the unmistakable blush on Xueye’s cheeks told him it was from passion which made him even angrier. “Was it Jinse?” Yushi’s grip tightened on his wrist as Xueye tried to squirm out of it. 

“N-no!” Xueye said quickly. 

Seeing Xueye wince, Yushi came back to his senses and loosened up, however he didn’t let go. He was afraid Xueye would run away. So he held his wrist gently and rubbed it with his thumb to try and soothe any pain he caused him.

“Please tell me… I need to know you aren't being hurt…” Yushi voiced tenderly. He looked so forlorn that Xueye was starting to cave. He didn't like seeing Yushi so despondent.

“You don’t remember last night, do you?” Xueye seemed so uneasy. Xueye wasn’t sure how Yushi would react to knowing the person he was so mad at was himself. 

“Remember what?” Yushi blinked in confusion. 

“Ah… how do I…? Mm… W-well d-did you happen to have any strange d-dreams after we drank the t-tea?” Xueye felt like he was going to combust into flames on the spot. His mind was racing, scrambling for the best way to break it to Yushi.

“Dreams?” Yushi thought for a moment. He didn’t really recall much, it was hazy. “I don’t remember much, I know you were there…” He finally put together what Xueye was implying and his eyes widened in shock. “Are you saying, I…”

Xueye nodded, his cheeks were so red and Yushi’s quickly got to that point as well. He let go of Xueye’s wrist and placed a hand over his mouth. 

“Please tell me I didn’t do anything to hurt you!” Yushi panicked. He hated that he couldn’t remember the details. Not even a fragment of what occurred or was said, aside from the fact Xueye was there.

“As far as I remember, that’s all that happened, but my memory after you b-...” Xueye felt too embarrassed to say it aloud. “A-after that is hazy as well… I thought it was a dream, until Jinse pointed it out…”

“Please forgive me!” Yushi sounded so desperate and broken. “I must not have been in my right mind. I wouldn't try anything like that! I probably also thought it was a dream… The last thing I want to do is hurt you!”

“I-I know…” Xueye was unsure of why he felt a little disappointed again. Did he really want to be desired by Yushi in that way? “Jinse said if you don't sleep right away it puts you in a state you think it's a dream when it's reality…”

“Perhaps we shouldn’t be using the dream root in the company of others…” Yushi felt so heartbroken by the uneasy look Xueye had on his face. “I understand if you might not want to remain near me after this.”

“I don’t think that…” Xueye’s cheeks were still flushed. “It was an accident.”

Was it an accident on my part? Yushi thought, his heart and mind racing around the idea. He hadn’t realized how possessive of Xueye he was when he thought another had marked him. Now that he knew it was his handiwork, there was a faint sense of relief, even a bit of pride. How he wished he could remember what happened just to recall the feeling on his lips, the taste of the skin between his teeth. He wondered how he would react if he did it again. However, he didn’t want to upset Xueye, he didn’t want to cause a rift between them.

“Heavens… How do I even begin to make it up to you?” Yushi closed his eyes trying to wrest those dangerous thoughts away. 

“You don't need to do anything!” Xueye waved his hands back and forth in front of him. “I promise, I won't hold it against you!”

“Maybe you should…” Yushi felt like this would be easier if Xueye did want some distance. 

“Shujing…” Xueye sighed, he reached out and caressed Yushi’s wrist carefully in case Yushi pulled away.  When Yushi didn't react negatively Xueye slid his hand down to hold Yushi’s hand. “Please don't let this change anything between us, okay? We both thought it was just a dream, so a dream it will remain.”

“If you insist,” Yushi sighed. Unfortunately for Yushi, no amount of comforting or reassuring would really make it all go away. He knew this was a fracture in that carefully crafted trust they had built. Even if Xueye said he was willing to let it go, Yushi knew it wouldn't just fade into a dream for either of them. 

Yushi couldn't get the possibilities of what happened or what it could have turned into from his mind no matter how hard he tried. A carnal part of him really wanted to make those wild fantasies a reality. It wanted to pick up where they left off. 

Treasure him! Yushi mentally scolded himself. 

Yushi was going to have to shower Xueye with more gifts to make up for all of this. If anything to help put his guilty conscience at ease and hopefully reign in the dragon’s instincts that were demanding to take him back to the palace and never let him leave. 

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” Yushi reminded himself that he did have one such gift already. “Earlier I was out at the market when I realized you weren't home. I mean, here in my home…” Yushi quickly corrected himself.

Xueye couldn't help but giggle at the little slip but he didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue.

“I decided to get you something…” Yushi said slowly expecting Xueye to refuse the gift. Still he pulled out the wrapped box.

“Shujing, you've done so much for me already!” Xueye was stunned by Yushi’s generosity. “You really don’t have to.”

“Please take it.” Yushi held the box out. “I honestly couldn't stop thinking about how we might not have much time to meet each other as often in the coming days. I just wanted to give you something to remember me, in case too much time passes. It's been on my mind all day. Ri-,” Yushi realized he almost slipped up and used Riluo’s real name. He cleared his throat hoping it wouldn't be noticed. “Earlier today, Luoshi had chased me off because he could tell I was distracted as we took care of business."

“So you got this because you were thinking of me, even while working?” Xueye asked as he gingerly took the box from Yushi. Just knowing Xueye wasn't the only one constantly thinking of the other gave rise to such a giddy feeling in his chest. 

“Yes, put simply, you've just been on my mind all day,” Yushi sighed realizing how hopeless it sounded after learning of their ‘dream.’ 

“Thank you, Shujing.” Xueye smiled fondly. Such a sweet little expression that was the most soothing balm to Yushi’s frayed nerves. “I admit the thought we may bee too busy to share time together crossed my mind quite often since my troubles got resolved.” His fingers traced the edge of the little box he held on his palm. “With this though, I will be able to remember what it’s like together whenever I’m feeling lonely.”

“That’s all I could ask for,” Yushi looked relieved. “I hope you like it.” 

“It’s from you so of course I will,” Xueye beamed as he looked down at the box. He really wanted to open it but in Meihua it wasn’t often wrapped gifts were opened in front of the gifter. While Xueye wasn’t always one for traditions he didn’t want to upset Yushi any further during their little time together that remained in the evening. “I best get to packing my things. I’d hate to keep you up late.”

“Would you like some assistance?” Yushi asked, hoping to bask in Xueye’s presence just a little longer.

“That would be most appreciated,” Xueye beamed.

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Surgery went well. I'm still recovering but I can think clearly enough to write again so resuming posting because I have so many chapters ready to go. Also let me know your favorite parts of the story until now. There may be new art of key moments coming soon.

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